Artemis Fowl 2: Another Fic Without a Proper Name
by TeenTypist
Summary: Arty is forced to take a vacation, Holly is reassigned to litter duty in Disneyland Paris, and Councilwoman Vinyaya gets to see just how tough Holly has it. My second AF Fic. No EC or OD spoilers. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, this is my next Artemis Fowl fic, I have no idea where it's going but thank you to everybody who reviewed my last AF fic. Ladeda, this one is at your request. ( ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  
Artemis paced up and down the stage behind the curtain, wondering why his parents weren't out there yet. He was graduating the 8th grade and he was the valedictorian. He peeked past the curtain again. Butler and Juliet were there, where were his parents?  
"Artemis, we can't delay any longer, we must start the ceremony even without your parents," the Dean put a hand on Artemis's shoulder and Artemis flinched and backed away.  
"Of course. I was just going to suggest that. Useless to wait." Artemis took his place standing beside the other students, already arranged on benches.  
The curtain was drawn back and the Dean of Students spoke from the podium. "Welcome to St. Bartleby's for the annual graduation ceremony!" The audience gave polite applause and he continued. "These fine young gentleman are the future. They will be the engineers, the architects, the leaders of our community, and the leaders of major corporations." Several of the students had fathers who owned major corporations and would likely inherit them upon their father's death. "And now our valedictorian, a boy who has the highest tested IQ of anyone who has ever gone to this fine school, a very unique boy, Artemis Fowl the second."  
Artemis walked over to the podium, when he spoke his voice was soft and clipped. "Parents, students, teachers, and anyone else who does not wish to be here, I welcome you. And I pity you. Like I, you were unable to avoid coming here today, my parents were lucky enough not to have that problem and managed to avoid appearing. But as you are hear now you must be forced to listen to my words or leave. There really is no third option. If you believe the pathetic group standing behind is adequately prepared to face the world, they aren't. They've learned nothing here that they will ever use and you have wasted your money and their time if you think otherwise. They have knowledge, yes, but without proper application it is useless. I highly doubt St. Bartleby's has properly trained them in the ways in which this knowledge will be of use in the business world. I, however, have trained myself and would like to say now, that I shall crush any business competition that comes my way. Go enjoy the cake and punch that the school has provided. To my classmates I say this: enjoy your last summer before you must enter high school and become the low man on the totem pole. Enjoy your last summer as carefree children because you will be crushed eventually and at last, after your ruin if not before, you will turn into piteous whining old men who sit about smoking and complaining. You have been warned." He gave a vampire-like smile and returned to his place.  
No applause followed his speech.  
The Dean went back to the podium. "Er, yes. As I said before, Artemis is one of our more unique students, never known another student to drive out as many of the school councilors as he has." He laughed to try and relieve the tension. "This class has come far and learned a great deal in it's years here and will never be forgotten. The class president, Alfred Davenport would like to say something."  
A pudgy boy with sandy hair got up and went to the podium. "Our class would like to present the school with a brand new flagpole and flag of Ireland."  
The parents and faculty in the audience applauded.  
"It will be put up this summer so that the other classes will have it when they start school in fall and we can see it when we visit."  
"Thank you, Alfred," said the Dean. Alfred returned to his place. "As Artemis pointed out there are refreshments in the lobby. I have just two more words to say to our graduates: Good Luck!"  
The graduates came off the stage in two orderly lines, as they had practiced.  
"Butler, Juliet, wait here just a few moments and I'll be out as soon as I dispose of these garments." He was referring to the maroon graduation gown and the mortarboard he'd been forced to wear over his Armani suit.  
"Shouldn't we take a picture for your parents, Arty?"  
"No, Juliet," he said coldly.  
Butler put a hand on his shoulder. "They wanted to come. Just before the ceremony started we got a call from your parents saying their flight had been delayed because of bad weather."  
Artemis surrendered and allowed his bodyguard and his bodyguard's sister to take photos of him before he went to remove the robe and hat. He wondered idly just what was happening underground. 


	2. Holly's Boredom

Alrighty, to answer some questions that came up in the reviews:  
  
I didn't take into account that Artemis probably skipped grades. Now that you point it out he probably did skip grades but for the purpose of this story, he didn't and I just put him in a grade to match his age. Maybe his parents were hoping he'd have more in common with kids his own age, though Artemis is hardly a kid. hehe  
  
I'm fairly sure I did mess up the grade levels for Ireland but the truth is I didn't even consider them! Doy. I just kinda worked off my own 8th grade graduation and added an Artemis speech. You're right about him probably refusing to do the speech, hmmm.I got it! He DID refuse to do the speech, but then Butler talked him into it and Artemis decided that it would be the perfect opportunity to make a kind of splash. I mean I can see Artemis just getting up there and scaring everybody like that, but that might just be me.  
  
Enjoy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Holly sighed. Things were boring. With a job like hers you wouldn't think there'd ever be a problem with boredom. She was a Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance officer, why was she bored?  
She shut off the television set.  
Holly'd been forced to take a vacation. True, she hadn't had a vacation in several years but that was because she liked work. In her opinion she had the best job out there, only thing that could improve it would be if she was allowed to punch the male officers if they ever made a rude comment toward her.  
So now she had two weeks to do nothing. Strike that, thirteen and a half days. She counted the hours until she could return to work. She started doing some long needed cleaning around the apartment and some thinking.  
Root was on vacation too. He'd only been slightly more receptive to the idea than Holly had been.  
For that matter, thought Holly, Foaly could probably use a vacation too. Did he ever stop working? But Foaly was indispensable; if he wanted a vacation he'd get one. So it stood to reason that he didn't want a vacation and the council didn't feel he had to have a vacation then he wouldn't be on vacation. He was after all the only one who could run most of the technology.  
That night when Holly went to sleep, she was restless. She wasn't tired and so she got up and began working out. She worked with weights, stretching, and overall muscle building while her thoughts drifted. Suddenly it clicked: things were going to happen. She and Root had been sent away not because they needed rest (which they did) but because there were going to be changes made and they would object.  
Holly's face was grim. The council thought she was a troublemaker, and of course they'd think so, because she was a troublemaker in a sense. She was unusual, she stood out, and she spoke her mind.  
But of course Trouble wasn't on vacation. The Council seemed to be favoring him at the moment. He'd been moved up to Lieutenant. He must know about this. Why hadn't he told her?  
Maybe he was still angry that she'd broken up with him. Well if he was angry that was just childish. Holly genuinely liked Trouble, he was a good guy. And she'd hoped that getting a boyfriend might dissuade some of the male officers from pursuing her, particularly Chix Verbil. But it had done no good. Aside from that she really didn't have time for a relationship. She was practically married to her work anyway. Just like Foaly was. And just like Root was.  
Holly knew centaurs by nature weren't very social creatures and they didn't keep many friends. Foaly worked all alone in the Ops Booth every day. As far as Holly knew he didn't go out to the dance clubs like some of the other centaurs she knew. He worked. Period. That was all.  
Holly frowned, mid-way through her crunch. What was Root's story? From what she gathered around the Police Plaza and from Foaly he'd started his LEP training and working rather later than most. He was widowed, Holly knew that much. Didn't have any living children that Holly knew of. What was his story? 


	3. Root's Story

All the information about Root and Holly's pasts comes my own brain (that's kinda scary) and the fact that Holly's dad is dead, Foaly commented in the first book "but, sir, your training was over 500 years ago and you were no spring chicken then", and the fact that Root's wife is never mentioned.  
  
* ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *  
  
Julius Root was sitting on his sofa staring at his moonometer, willing the time to pass faster.  
It was too quiet here. It was his third day of vacation and there was absolutely nothing to do. He had to get out of the house.  
He left and began to walk around Haven without even bothering to put his coat on.  
He wasn't normally home this much. He kept to the office. Home was just.depressing. As he passed by Spud's Spud Emporium he quickened his pace. There were too many memories. He remembered what had first made him want to join the LEP.  
It was on this very block that his wife had been murdered. And his daughter. His daughter had only been around Holly's age.  
A bad gang of goblins, with softnose lasers got them. Those lasers were designed to kill. They were now outlawed and most of them destroyed.  
It was after this attack that he joined the LEP. He had a reason to fight. He knew Short had her reasons for joining the LEP too. Her father had been a great officer. If Root's memory served him right, he'd been a Lieutenant, and part of the Retrieval squad. Holly had adored her father and wanted to be like him. But just over twenty years ago things went sour on one of his missions and he lost his life.  
Root sighed. They all had their reasons. 


	4. Trouble's Trouble

"Look, Council-Woman Vinyaya, you just can't fire Holly and Root!"  
"We weren't talking about firing them. We were thinking of retiring Commander Root, or at least sending him back to a desk job. Captain Short would be fired, yes, or put behind a desk but she causes too much trouble in the field."  
"It's not her fault! Except for the Hamburg thing all of her troubles were special circumstances."  
"Lieutenant Colonel Kelp," she spoke sharply, "in this line of work everything is a special circumstance and if you can't handle it then you must leave. The same goes for every officer. She's quite unorthodox. Besides, she's a reckless pilot."  
Trouble had to admit that Holly held the LEP record for core diving; core-diving was against the rules but the pilots did it anyway. Holly's record-breaking dive had earned her a suspension and a fine. "But, she's still the best pilot we've got."  
"Be that as it may I don't feel we have a choice. The council has discussed this thoroughly and you have been in with us on a number of the discussions. I know you and Captain Short are dating but that's no reason to make excuses for her."  
"Were, Council-Woman Vinyaya. We broke up. But that's beside the point. She's a great officer. She can think on her feet and she's a sure shot. There's no other officer I'd rather have at my back out there in the field."  
"Kelp."  
"Please, just give her a second chance. After being shot by someone the council had working undercover without telling her she still managed to rescue Aquarius and Commander Root!"  
"Yes, and she smashed the rules and regulations to bits along the way. I'm sorry, but she's through."  
"Please, just give her a second chance!"  
"Would like me to remind you how many second chances she's had?"  
"Council-Woman Vinyaya, she."  
"For your sake, Lieutenant, she shall have one last chance. I'll call her in to speak with me as soon as she gets back from her vacation. She will have to repeat all her basic training again. If she passes, she can stay. But she will be reassigned elsewhere."  
Trouble sighed with relief, Holly may not follow all the rules but she did know all the rules. "Thank you. What about Commander Root?"  
"That is yet to be decided by the Council. You are dismissed."  
Trouble started to get up and leave but turned back at the door. "You might want to speak to Holly sooner rather than later if it's convenient with you. I'm sure she will have realized by now that something's afoot."  
She nodded curtly and left. 


	5. Foaly's Feet

Foaly put on his hat, turned on some music, and checked that the metal on his feet was in place. Time to see if his brain worked as well as he thought it did. When it came to dancing he had four left hooves. Time to see if he could change that.  
He began to dance. So far things were going well. Then the magnetic pull brought all his hooves together and he fell down.  
"Are you alright in there?" asked Trouble's voice through the intercom.  
"Oof. I'm fine." He struggled to stand.  
"Then let me in, it's important. It's about Holly and Root."  
Foaly pressed the button to let the irrated elf into his operations booth. "What do you want?"  
"What are you wearing? And what's that music?"  
Foaly blushed. "I was working on my dancing. My latest invention. This," he took of his hat, "sends signals from the brain to the feet coordinating them so that I can dance without looking like an idiot." He turned off the music and took of the specially modified shoes. "But part of it is these magnetic shoes that help it, make my hooves all come together and I fall. It's not working."  
"Well, this is more important than your dancing skills. The Council wants to get rid of Root and Holly."  
"Get rid of them?"  
"They want to force Root to retire and they want to kick Holly out of LEP entirely. They won't listen to me."  
"What do you expect me to do about it?" The centaur grinned smugly.  
"They can't fire you. They fire you and LEP goes splat. They know that. Threaten to resign if they pull out Short or Root. Please, Foaly."  
This wasn't really a hard decision, centaurs weren't the most sociable of creatures and Holly was one of his few good friends. "I'll do it. But not until they actually announce it or tell me that they're taking them away. The Council doesn't like that they can't get rid of me. It's one thing for me to abuse and antagonize Root but these guys are another story."  
"Thanks, Foaly." Trouble left, shutting the door behind him.  
Foaly bit his lip, worried. He'd be placed too when it could be arranged. But that wouldn't be for at least another couple of years. He sighed. Always he'd hidden himself behind his techno babble and his computers. Designing things and not giving any time to people. Generally he didn't like people. They annoyed and infuriated him. They could be so stupid sometimes. In fact, most of the time.  
But Holly was one of his closest friends; in fact she probably was his closest friend. She avoided being an idiot, most of the time. He didn't want her to get fired. And after a fashion, Root wasn't so bad. Besides, if Root got fired Foaly would have no one to torment, at least nobody important to torment. Though Trouble seemed to be turning into the Council's new favorite. But since when had the Council gotten so involved in LEP affairs anyway?  
Maybe he could bargain with them. But other than his brain he had nothing to bargain with. He just had to hope that'd be good enough.  
  
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Author's Note: I don't know that Foaly's attitude toward people fits in all that well but it talks about how centaurs are not very sociable, et cetra, and so I figured Foaly's kinda like me and my hiding behind books and if anybody dares to interrupt my reading, filling their ears with Tolkien- babble until they've suddenly got to be somewhere else. 


	6. Reassigned

Holly'd gotten a call the night before from someone from the Council, well actually it'd been the Councilwoman's secretary, saying to come down to the Police Plaza at 9:30 sharp. She just barely made it on time.  
"Captain Short, I was beginning to think you might not come."  
"It's only just 9:30 now."  
"Have you been in contact with anyone from LEP in the last 24 hours?"  
  
"No. Why? What's this about, Ma'am?"  
"We've been reviewing your file and are unsure as to whether you are fit to continue on with LEP. We've got many other lines of work to suggest."  
"What? I love my job. I don't want to change lines of work!"  
"As I said we are unsure as to whether you are fit to remain in this line of work."  
"Councilwoman Vinyaya, I can lift more weight and run circles around many of the male officers. I can think clearly on my feet. I'm good at improvising on the field. I can get out of tight spots. I'm a great shuttle pilot. I-"  
"You need not remind me of all your qualities, I am very aware of them. But you seem to cause a lot of problems."  
"Problems?"  
"There was of course the Hamburg incident. Then there was the troll in that Italian restaurant. You were kidnapped and cost the citizens a lot of money in ransom gold, may I remind you that is the first time that has ever happened. You took that unauthorized trip to the Artic and went to a shuttle port that was closed down. You lost the Ambassador's son."  
Holly drew herself up taller. "I take full responsibility for the Hamburg incident, ma'am. I was invited into the restaurant; a small child was calling for help. Would you have denied a child? Who was suffering? Not if you have a heart. None of us knew that there were Mud Men staked out at the places where we hold the Ritual, waiting to capture one of us. It could have been any fairy, but it happened to be me. And if you remember I got back half that ransom gold. The trip to the Artic was out of necessity, we broke into Koboi Labs and forced our way to the traitor Cudgeon and Opal Koboi with nearly no weapons or communication with the Police Plaza. As for the Ambassador's son, no one was being frank with me and I got shot in the bargain but I did get him back."  
"You should have saved your breath. You're not being fired. Thanks to the efforts of Foaly and Lieutenant Colonel Kelp vouching for you, instead you will be resubmitted for training, if you pass the training again, you will be reassigned above the surface at Disneyland."  
"Thank you, Councilwoman," she said stiffly. 


	7. Summer Vacation

Holly spent the remainder of her vacation going through training and exams again. Going through the courses at double speed so as to be done just as her vacation was ending. She passed with flying colors.  
The following Monday she started work.  
  
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
Artemis sighed. "Must I go?"  
"I know you don't want to leave us, Arty. But we'll be together again soon. Don't worry. You'll have lot's of fun."  
"Yes, son. I've got nothing but work to do here for several days and your mother is planning a charity banquet. You'll have much more fun with Butler than a couple of old people like us. I do wish you hadn't objected to inviting your cousin."  
"Spare me. He spends his days wearing out his thumbs at video games."  
  
"And you spend your days on the computer," his mother said cheerfully. "We're awfully sorry we weren't able to make it to your graduation yesterday. And I hate to have you have to leave you again so soon. But we'll see you in a week. We can meet up in Bordeaux."  
"Yes, mother. Goodbye. Come, Butler."  
Butler picked up the bags and followed Artemis to the Lear Jet waiting outside. Artemis climbed aboard. After a short flight they reached France and were in Paris.  
Artemis stood before the gates and scoffed, "Of all the places to send me why did they have to choose Disneyland?"  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Holly walked around the surface freely. It was just after sunset. Disneyland was one of the few places on the surface that the People could walk about freely without attracting too much notice. It also gave her a chance at some fresh air. They only had one or two of the fairies monitoring Disneyland at a time and a few others would be allowed to come as tourists. The fairies working at Disneyland were had to help the environment and stop the litter, try to keep violence around the park to a minimum, and make sure that the humans didn't know the People existed.  
Holly bought some mineral water and was mid-sip when she saw a certain familiar raven-haired figure.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
"Butler, you are not dragging me on another ride. Space Mountain was bad enough. It's upset my stomach terribly."  
"You should at least try to have some fun, Artemis."  
"This is not fun. Tromping across the Artic was more fun than this is. In fact-what is she doing here?" he spied a familiar pointy eared someone.  
Butler caught sight of Holly just as Artemis did.  
Holly appeared to be choking on her water.  
Butler and his employer advanced and she sputtered, "You again? What are you doing here?"  
"We're.tourists," said Artemis, disdainfully. "You?"  
"Reassigned. Apparently I'm not up to par as far as being a Recon officer is concerned." She grimaced.  
"You not up to par?" He quirked an eyebrow.  
"They're trying to force Root to retire. He called me. They wanted to fire me. But what does that matter to you, Mud Boy?"  
"Why? Aren't you the best shuttle pilot they've got?"  
She gave a sigh of disgust. "They recommended I begin commercial piloting."  
"And a great shot with a gun?" His fingers went to his throat where a little golden disc hung on a fine chain. The disc was a coin that Holly had tossed fifty feet in the air before shooting it at dead center.  
"Yes," she said bitterly. "Why are you here?"  
"My parents feel that I should be out having fun."  
"Apparently they don't think causing chaos among the fairies counts?"  
"Apparently. They've sent me to spend nearly a week here." He shuddered.  
Butler whispered, "His stomach doesn't necessarily agree with most of the rides."  
Holly grinned. "You'd never last in the pods. I've got to get back to work, Mud Boy." Her face was sour again.  
"Come, Butler, can we get back to the hotel I need some decent food. You packed everything I wanted in the suitcase?"  
"Yes, Artemis." He nodded once at Holly before following his employer passed the people dressed in animal costumes (such as Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse) and walked carefully to avoid the cotton candy and gum that stained the ground. 


	8. Breaking the News

Root had been called into the office on his final day of vacation. He wondered what this could be about, but he didn't let it stop him from coming. He was willing to do anything to keep himself from being at home or wandering the streets of the Haven anymore.  
"What is it, Vinyaya?" he asked, sitting before her.  
"Commander, the Council has been discussing this at length and we feel it would be best for everyone involved if you took your retirement."  
Root's eyes nearly left their sockets and his face turned beet red. "WHAT!?" He should have been expecting this after the call he'd gotten from Trouble and Foaly last night. They'd called and said that LEP was making job changes and Holly had been forced to retake her LEP training and test. "You listen here, Vinyaya, and you listen good. I'm as fit as any member of LEP and I've served well for over 500 years. I-"  
"You do sound quite like Captain Short, Commander," Vinyaya said coolly.  
"What's Holly got to do with anything?" he asked sharply.  
"We had her in here less than two weeks ago and suggested she find another job."  
"You fired Short without consulting me!"  
"No, she redid her training and then we instead reassigned her. She's working Disneyland Paris. We suggested she become a commercial shuttle pilot. Julius, we think it best you retire. Or at least take yourself off active assignment. Otherwise we will."  
It was at that moment that Foaly chose to walk in the door. "Councilwoman, I couldn't help overhearing, but it seems to me you want to get rid of Julius? I must say I find him quite useful. I've even tested some of my gear on him, like those masks."  
"We can get any fairy to test your latest inventions, Foaly," she said impatiently.  
"Are you sure? This one is supposed to drain a fairy's powers, temporarily of course, would you care to test it?" He asked. He held up a small blue vial.  
"No."  
"Julius is an excellent commander. Really. If he left I might be depressed enough to leave too. Really hope you stay, Julius. But if you must go.then I suppose I can follow you." Foaly added the last part cheerfully. "I must go now. Lot's of work to do. After all, who knows how long I'll be here?" He trotted out of the meeting room.  
Root gave a satisfied grin, "I'll be staying and I'll be reinstating Captain Short."  
"She's a troublemaker, Commander."  
"She's gotten out of some tight spots."  
"Ones that she shouldn't have been in the first place."  
"It wasn't my idea to have that undercover goblin, Vinyaya. And it wasn't my idea not to tell Holly about it. She got shot in the bargain but she still did what was right. Above and beyond the call of duty. Remember that. I'll be reinstating her back to Recon next week. You can be sure of it." He put out his fungus cigar in the ashtray and walked away.  
Councilwoman Vinyaya was rather miffed. She wished the other council- members hadn't decided she would have to break the news to Root and Short or try to get Kelp on their side. Now she'd have to break the news to the council that everything was staying the way it was.  
  
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I hope this chapter explained that Vinyaya isn't really the bad guy or evil in this. She's kind of being pushed around by the other Council-members. You know, obviously she didn't push back enough against them but still she's not completely at fault here. Just thought you should know. 


	9. Ideas

Holly found a message waiting on her answering machine when she got home the next morning. She pressed play.  
"Holly, it's Foaly. Call me back at the Police Plaza. I've got great news. Plus, I've got an idea that ought to be a little fun. Call me."  
She wondered what he could be up to, but considered she'd mainly spent the day picking up litter anything would be better than that. So she called the direct line that led to the Ops Booth. "Foaly?"  
"Right here."  
"What is it?"  
"Root's not getting fired and you have yours truly to thank."  
She didn't thank him, time to wait and see if he deserved to be thanked. "Anything else?"  
"He's having you put back on Recon."  
"When?"  
"Next week."  
"Thanks, Foaly."  
"Hey, I've got a new gadget I want to try."  
"So that's the price of your help?" She chuckled.  
"No, I don't want you to try it yet. But next week. See I've thought of a way to give Vinyaya a little insight as to the Hades you call being one of the few female LEP officers."  
"How?" she was interested, despite herself.  
"Well, remember those masks I made?"  
"Yeah."  
"I managed to make some identical to your face, Trouble's, and Vinyaya's."  
"How's Trouble fit into the equation?"  
"Well, we put your face on Vinyaya, Vinyaya's face on Trouble, and Trouble's face on yours."  
  
"What about voices?"  
"I solved that too. It'll just take a little more time. I've got to record your voices a little longer and then the translator will do the rest. It'll make your voice sound like Trouble's and so on. What do you think?"  
"Pretty good. But why do I have to be Trouble? Why can't I just be Vinyaya?"  
"Well I thought you'd enjoy seeing what goes on when you aren't around, but if you'd rather not we can just leave Trouble out of the equation."  
"No. Keep him. But how do we get Vinyaya involved in all this? I don't think she'd be too keen."  
"Oh, I think she will. But I need you to come down to the Ops Booth and tell me if I made any mistakes with the mask."  
"Alright. Be there as soon as I can." She got there and Foaly admitted her into the Ops Booth.  
"Here it is."  
"Wow. Genuine. Very impressive."  
"I thought so."  
"So what exactly is the plan?" She made herself comfortable in one of the chairs.  
"Well, we convince Trouble to help. It shouldn't be hard. He's been at odds with the Council and all the changes they're making. He'll be more than happy to get an inside look on the Council."  
"How are you going to make him look feminine enough to be Vinyaya? These masks are incredible but something tells me that changing his face and voice won't be enough to convince them. I mean he doesn't look female."  
"You leave that to me."  
"How are you going to get Vinyaya to agree to any of this?"  
"I'll figure something out. You can rely on my brain for anything," said Foaly, with confidence.  
"If you say so. But I'm not agreeing to anything until you get Vinyaya to agree. Okay?"  
"No problem." He wondered how he was going to convince the Councilwoman to agree to anything like this.  
Holly returned home to get some rest before she had to go back to the surface again. 


	10. Foaly Works His Magic

"Councilwoman? I was wondering if I could speak to you a moment."  
"I suppose. Make it quick."  
"I know you feel that many of us-namely myself, Commander Root, and Leiutenent Kelp-are too leanient when things concern Captain Short."  
"Yes. What about Captain Short?"  
"I was just thinking, if you knew the special circumstances that Holly had to face everyday, you might think otherwise."  
"Then why don't you tell me and then I can be on my merry little way."  
"It's not that simple. The only way you could really understand is if you lived a day as Holly."  
"Well, that's just not possible."  
"Actually it is."  
"What?" Vinyaya seemed startled. "How?"  
"Well the masks I've been developing for undercover work. I could fashion one to look like Captain Short. And I've just about got the last bugs worked out of some voice modifiers I've been constructing. You could spend a day as Holly Short and see just what it is she has to go through."  
"But what about my duties as Councilwoman? And what about Short?"  
"I think I could get Short to agree to let you take her place for a day. And I'm sure I could find someone to fill in for you. Or you could just call in sick."  
"That sounds good. But are you sure you can convince Short?"  
"Piece of cake."  
"Okay, I must be going. When are you planning for this to take place?"  
"Day after Holly's reinstalled on Recon."  
Vinyaya nodded and walked away.  
Foaly gave a sigh of relief. That was almost too easy. Now he just had to work on Trouble. He got his chance that afternoon.  
"Hey, Kelp, got a minute?"  
"Yeah, sure. You saved Holly and Root's jobs. I've got a minute for you."  
"How would you like an inside look on what the Council is up to?"  
"I'd love it. But how are you going to manage that?"  
"Well, you'd have to wear a dress."  
"WHAT?"  
"You go in pretending to be Vinyaya."  
"How?"  
"Well, I should be finished with a mask of Vinyaya by next week or so. I'll get her out of the way and you go in pretending to be her."  
"I don't sound like her, Foaly."  
"Thought of that too. My voice modifiers ought to be finished by then."  
"How will you get rid of Vinyaya?"  
"Just trust me, I've got my ways."  
"Are you sure you can pull this stunt off Foaly?"  
"Positive."  
"If anything goes wrong. " He didn't finish this sentence. If something went wrong he'd have no one to blame but himself because he probably shouldn't be involved in it anyway. "I'm in."  
"Okay. Next Monday you'll be walking out of the Ops room with Vinyaya's face and voice."  
"I'll see you, Foaly."  
"See you around, Trouble." So far, so good. Now time to tell Holly the good news. Nope, couldn't tell her yet. She was still up on the surface at Disneyland Paris.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Okay, read and review. When I've got reviews I'll post the next chapter. 


	11. Mouse Hunt

Artemis looked out to see the park from his hotel room. He wondered briefly if the excuse about being reassigned wasn't some cover, the LEP could be spying on him. But Holly had seemed so genuine in her hatred of being stuck on garbage duty on the surface. Then again, it could be that she genuinely hates being assigned above ground to spy on some Mud Boy. Artemis knew he'd caused enough trouble among the People to warrant being watched but they had spied on him, and they'd felt it was safe to remove the surveillance.  
He stared out the window. He hadn't seen Holly at all the last 4 days. Perhaps she was hiding? Perhaps avoiding him, because it wasn't her mission at all and she did just have litter control. But as the saying went, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Artemis didn't keep friends, though he wouldn't exactly call Holly an enemy.  
"Butler," he said softly.  
"Yes, Artemis?"  
"What do you think is really going on?" He never took his gaze from the window.  
"Permission to speak freely?"  
"Granted of course." Butler was the closest thing he had to a friend.  
"I think that you're worrying too much. This is supposed to be your vacation. Captain Short isn't spying on you, or hiding. This is her job. In fact, I'm fairly sure that it's involvement with us that got her demoted to litter patrol here on the surface. It can't be anything but a demotion. She's made for action, for fighting; civilian work doesn't suit her and it's dragging her down like chains."  
"Perhaps you're right." Artemis sighed. Though Artemis didn't keep friends there were only perhaps three people alive he respected enough to call them equals: one of them was Butler, another Holly, and the third would have to be either Commander Root or that centaur, Foaly.  
"You'll feel better if we go outside and you get some fresh air."  
"Maybe. I doubt it." Reluctantly, Artemis slipped on his handmade Italian loafers and buttoned his vest.  
Butler checked for an all clear in the hallway before motioning Artemis to come; when guarding a Fowl you could never be too safe, they had a lot of enemies. They'd just gotten out of the elevator and reached the bottom floor of the hotel when a great BOOM erupted. Butler threw Artemis back in the elevator and shut the doors, shielding Artemis with his body in case the steel elevator doors weren't enough. Unfortunately the doors became stuck shut and all the power in the building went out.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
It was nearing dusk when Holly went to the surface. This was her last day and she was so glad. She loved the surface, even though the air was polluted it was still fresher than that recycled air below ground, but she wanted to be fighting bad guys and saving people, not cleaning up. This was nearly as bad as traffic duty.  
She saw that something was wrong over by the hotel. Something was seriously wrong. What sort of mischief had the Mud Boy been up to now? She ran there and shoved her way through the thronging crowds. There was evidence of fire and a Mud Man in chains. She recognized him; his name was Luc. But the last she'd heard he was in prison or an asylum for the insane, she couldn't remember which.  
He was protesting his innocence to the police, and he sounded drunk. The handcuffed him and stuffed him to a police car while paramedics tended the fallen. She shielded and went farther in the building. It looked as though there weren't many serious injuries. She heard a faint sound coming from the elevator.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Artemis and Butler had been in the elevator for 3 hours. The power was still out. The doors had buckled slightly during the earlier explosions (there'd been 3 in quick succession) and they refused to open despite all of Butler's efforts. Artemis had received a nasty bump on the head during the third explosion and Butler had nothing with him to bring down the swelling.  
It had been hard figuring what weapons Butler could get past the park's security to bring on the trip (though Butler's hands and feet were as deadly as any weapon short of any sort of bomb).  
When Butler's well-trained ear heard the rescue workers outside he began to pound on the door, but nobody heard his pounding. So he sat down again.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Holly was fairly sure there was someone still trapped in the elevator. Nobody was even looking in that direction. She'd just have to make someone look in that direction! She unshielded herself and grabbed one of the paramedics who wasn't busy, she coated her voice with the mesmer. "You will suggest that someone may be trapped in the elevator. You will make sure somebody opens up that elevator and gets them out. You will forget you ever saw me." She shielded again and saw to it that the paramedic did as he was told. When the elevator doors opened she saw Artemis and Butler. Artemis was unconscious.  
She muttered, "Fowl, what sort of mess have you gotten yourself into now?" He needed Healing before those blasted paramedics came in. She took out a small smoke capsule and released it in the direction of people outside the elevator. That would give her a few moments to work, and it would seem as though the smoke had somehow come from the elevator itself. She squatted down beside Fowl. "How long has he been out?" she snapped.  
"Nearly three hours. He didn't hold on to consciousness long after the bombs hit." Butler didn't ask if Holly could Heal him, he already had total faith in her abilities.  
"He needs medical attention." She sent the blue sparks of magic scurrying down and out of her fingers, "Heal," she thought.  
The sizable lump on Artemis's head (Butler had removed his jacket and placed it under his employer's head like a pillow) began to lessen and return more or less to normal color. He began to regain consciousness, but the smoke was beginning to clear.  
"Captain Short, is that you?" he murmured.  
Holly didn't pay attention, "If anyone asks he was unconscious for a brief period of time. I've Healed enough so that he isn't in any danger but there's enough work left for the doctors to take care of so it doesn't seem suspicious. And he'll have enough of a headache to remind him not to get into anymore trouble. The bombs were set off by Luc, Butler; that private detective. He heard from somewhere that you were staying here, you Butler- not Artemis. I don't know what's been happening in his warped mind, it went through a lot with all that business with Briar Cudgeon but he somehow blames you. Watch out." She shielded and flew away as the paramedics entered the elevator.  
Butler stood by and watched them as they finished cleaning up Artemis. During this time Butler saw what he seldom saw in Artemis: a normal teenage boy, somewhat scared, but with no evil plots or deep worries, only concerned with the immediate situation. Silently, Butler thanked Holly even though he knew she was long gone. 


	12. Switching Faces: Part 1

Holly was relieved to get off her shift that night. Stupid Mud Men couldn't take care of themselves. The people didn't design weapons to kill, only to incapacitate. The Mud Men weapons were designed to destroy as much as possible. She slipped into her steaming slime pool and began to relax. Starting Monday she'd be on Recon again. Unfortunately her relaxation was interrupted by the phone, luckily she'd remembered to put the speaker on before she came in and set it up to answer right away.  
"Hello, Holly."  
"What do you want, Foaly?"  
"I wanted to see if you were still interested in that idea of mine. To have you switch places with Trouble."  
"Yeah. You got him and Vinyaya to agree?" She was skeptical.  
"Yeah. Piece of carrot cake."  
"Alright. Then I'm still interested. What's the plan?"  
"Vinyaya appears in the Ops room at the start of your shift on Monday. She leaves the Ops room with your face, your voice, your nametag, and a nice green jumpsuit. You come into the Ops room about 10 minutes into the shift, Trouble's not great with being on time anyway so it'll be fine. When you leave you'll have his face, his voice, his nametag, and a spiffy black Retrieval Squad outfit."  
"Don't they wear jumpsuits like ours?"  
"Yeah. But Recon uses green. I don't see you point."  
"Foaly, I don't know if anyone ever explained things to YOU, but I happen to know that in a form-fitting jumpsuit the female physique doesn't look quite the same as the male one."  
"Then wear a sweater, if it's loose enough nobody's going to notice. Say, you're getting a cold and you need to wear it."  
"What about Trouble?"  
"He'll show up and when he leaves he'll have Vinyaya's face and voice. And he'll be wearing a very pretty dress."  
Holly could just imagine Foaly's smirk. "Our favorite mud boy nearly got himself blown up today."  
"What was he up to?"  
"As far as I could tell, nothing. But this was an old score to settle. Hey, hack into Interpol for me. I coulda swore you said that Luc guy was locked up somewhere still. He's the one who set the bombs."  
"I'm checking. Says he got out. I don't know if he was released or escaped though. Definitely wasn't bribery. All his money was counterfeit."  
"Yeah. Listen, Foaly, I was kinda in the middle of something when you called. I've got to go. Sounds like the plan is good."  
"Alright. What're you in the middle of? Didn't you only just get home a little while before I called you?"  
"Yes, and I'm in the middle of my bath!" Her phone had voice command installed in it and she snapped, "Disconnect!" and the line went dead.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Early Monday morning Foaly got a call he wasn't expecting.  
A hoarse voice said, "Foaly? I can't come in this morning. You've got to call the switch off."  
"Trouble? Is that you?"  
"Yes."  
"It doesn't sound like you."  
"Of course it doesn't! I'm sick. I can't come to work today so you've got to call the switch off."  
"I can't do that this late in the game, Troubs. Let me put Holly on the line with us." He dialed. "Holly?"  
"Yes. What is it? My alarm isn't going to go off for another half an hour!"  
"Trouble is sick."  
"So? Just have Vinyaya call that she's sick and won't be in this morning," replied a groggy and somewhat cranky Holly. She was not a morning person.  
"But I wanted to make Trouble wear a dress!"  
Holly could just imagine Foaly's pout. "Life's tough, horse, get a helmet. Call Vinyaya, I know you can hack into the files and get her home number. Everything else goes as planned."  
"But-" protested Foaly.  
"No let's reschedule," Trouble said weakly.  
"NO rescheduling. Call Vinyaya, everything else goes as planned." Holly slammed down the receiver and went back to sleep.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
When Holly reached the Police Plaza, she was careful not to be seen; after all, as far as everyone else was concerned she'd arrived ten minutes ago. She reached the Ops Room without sighting a soul.  
"Let me in, Foaly." The door opened immediately and she slipped inside. "Everything going according to plan?"  
"Yeah. I really wanted to put Trouble in a dress!" He pouted.  
"Life's tough, get a helmet. Did you bring me a sweatshirt?"  
"Yeah. I got one from Trouble's college fraternity."  
"Good, I'll just say I was feeling nostalgic." She noticed a small booth set up in a corner. "Isn't that one of the portable blackout shelters? For fairies that could be caught up on the surface during the light in an emergency?"  
"Yes. But today it's your dressing room." Foaly tossed her a black Retrieval uniform with Trouble's nametag (or a copy of it that Foaly had made) and a dark sweatshirt with the name of what had to have been Trouble's college fraternity on it. "Go on."  
Holly entered the little room and turned on a glow cube for some light; with the door shut none of the light from the Ops booth got into the shelter. She got dressed. When she came out she secured her mask (which was waiting on the table) and with Foaly's instructions attached and activated the voice modifier. Colored contacts turned her eyes a dark brown. She looked at herself in the mirror. Then frowned. "Foaly, what color hair does Trouble have?" her voice was identical to Lieutenant Colonel Kelp's.  
"Brown. Why?"  
"Because today he has auburn!"  
"Oh."  
"What are we going to do? What did you do with Vinyaya to make it look like she had an auburn crew cut instead of that long dark hair?"  
"Skull cap and a wig. I s'pose I can find some stuff to put in your hair to darken it."  
"Only temporarily!" she warned.  
"Yeah, yeah." He went searching until he found whatever he was looking for and applied it in Holly's hair. When she looked in the mirror she was sure that Trouble's own brother wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Which was a good thing because Grub Kelp was probably on duty today too.  
"It's great."  
"You and Vinyaya are only working 'til the noon shift, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"So come back here when you get off work."  
"I will."  
"And don't forget, today you're answering to the name Trouble, Lieutenant Colonel Kelp, or Kelp. Not Holly Short."  
"I know, I know. I'm late enough already."  
"Best of luck."  
Holly didn't respond, instead she walked out of the Ops booth and through the rest of the Police Plaza to the room where the on-duty officers were. She entered and saw the men give her friendly greetings,  
"Trouble!"  
"Hey, lookee here, the Colonel is late, again."  
"Yeah, yeah," grunted Holly. So far, so good.  
"Where've you been?"  
"Talking to the wise-crack horse. Wanted to use me as a test-dummy," said Holly.  
"Well you've got the brain of one," said Chix Verbil.  
A large gnome, sitting in the corner asked, "What'd he want you to test this time?"  
"Something that temporarily drains a fairy's powers. Told him I wasn't crazy enough for that and that maybe they should get a sprite for the job." All the guys laughed. This was fun, she could make fun of Chix; and for once she could be in the same room as him without his hitting on her.  
Chix scowled, "All you elfs are just jealous cuz you can't fly."  
"Neither can you, Private," said Holly, enjoying the opportunity to point out how much of a higher rank she was. Technically of course this was Trouble's rank, but for the moment she was Trouble. Besides, even as a Captain she outranked this sprite.  
"I've got wings!" he said defensively. Most fairies didn't have wings; sprites were one of the few species that did. Any other fairy had to use mechanical wings.  
"Yeah, but I know the story about how you got shot. It was because Short had to kick you out of that cham pod 'cause you were hitting on her with some stupid pick-up lines."  
"How'd you know? Since when d'you care anyhow?"  
Uh-oh, this was getting into dangerous territory. " 'Cause, Private, I know everything. Holly and me don't keep secrets. She can't stand you. At least I got to date her, which is more than you can say." It felt SO good to be telling off this conceited sprite.  
Unfortunately it was just at that moment that Vinyaya, who of course looked just like Holly, happened to walk in with a cup of tea.  
"Short, you don't drink tea," said one of the officers, looking at her cup.  
"I drink this every morning," she said.  
"No," said the real Holly, "every morning you drink coffee with two sugars and one cream. You never drink tea."  
"How would you know what I drink or don't drink?" she retorted.  
Holly sighed internally, a sharp retort like that was exactly something she would say. Did Vinyaya not know that she was talking to the real Holly?  
Chix Verbil seemed to sense something was wrong and took a chance, "Hey, Holly, what d'you thinka me?"  
"I think you're irresponsible but a good person, I guess." Vinyaya knew that Chix had lost the use of his wings getting shot while on stake- out duty but she didn't know the particulars of it.  
Holly wanted to bang her head against the wall. That was the WRONG ANSWER. If only she could get Vinyaya away for a moment and talk to her. . . "Short, Root wanted me to take you to his office. Said it was important."  
"I can go by myself, I know where his office is," answered Vinyaya coolly.  
"But he wanted to see me too, come on." Holly grabbed Vinyaya's arm and all but dragged her to the door.  
Vinyaya pounded on Holly's arm. "Let go! You can't treat me like this."  
When they were outside the room of officers Holly whispered, "I know who you are, Councilwoman."  
Her eyes widened. "How? That centaur wasn't supposed to tell. . ."  
"Of course I know. I'm Holly, the real Holly. And you were seriously messing things up for me in there!" she growled.  
"How do you mean?"  
"I absolutely never drink tea. Coffee with two sugars and a cream. And I do not think Chix Verbil is a good person. He's filth, and he doesn't stop hitting on me." She glared at the woman who looked like her.  
"But he wouldn't do that unless he thought you were encouraging him."  
"Wanna bet? Look, why don't you try NOT encouraging him and see how he takes it."  
"Alright, I will. I'm sure he'll back off."  
"Not likely. But don't let him sucker you into a date because when we get off this shift at lunch I'm becoming myself again."  
"All right."  
"And if you get called out on a mission, don't do anything to make me lose my job." Holly turned to go back to the room where the other officers that were on-duty were getting their morning coffee and in general delaying getting to their tasks.  
"Where are you going? I thought you said Julius wanted to see us?"  
"That was a lie to get us out of there so I could talk to you."  
"Oh."  
"And don't call him Julius or you'll get me in trouble."  
"I was already in trouble for being late today. It was only by 2 minutes! It was because Foaly couldn't find the hazel lenses for me. Of course I couldn't tell Julius that, so I had to say my alarm didn't go off. Why did he bother me about 2 minutes? Nobody said a word to you and your were late by 15!"  
"Try going through that sort of thing on a day by day basis. It's because Captain Holly Short, today that happens to be you instead of me, is the test case for Recon. It's first female officer. Lot's of hopes and dreams of future female reconnaissance officers riding on whether I can match and beat the standards of all the guys. I'm doing a pretty good job so far except when special circumstances come into play. Like those Fowl cases."  
Vinyaya stood, dumb.  
Holly snorted, maybe something good would come from today. Just maybe she could get Vinyaya to understand just everything that went on in the daily life of Holly Short. "Don't forget to make up a good cover story about Root." Rather than going back to the coffee room she went to the room where the Retrieval squad was supposed to be on alert, awaiting to be called on at a moment's need. Only another officer or two was there. Holly picked up a magazine and began to read. 


	13. Switching Faces: Part 2

Holly Short and Chix Verbil were being sent out to pick up some members of a small time goblin gang and let them spend a couple nights in cells at the Police Plaza. This was pretty routine, except for one problem: it wasn't really Holly. Vinyaya really had no idea what to do and Chix got to be the big man for once. Especially when the handcuffs she put on the goblin fell off.  
  
Chix then demonstrated proper handcuffing by handcuffing Holly to him (after he'd placed the other cuffs on the gang members). He finally took the cuff off Holly when she started whining.  
  
"Gee, Holly. That's not like you at all. Normally you'd scream at me or hit me or something. What's with you today?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"C'mon, Hol, tell me."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please."  
  
"No, go away!" She had stalked off like an angry cat. Word of her mishaps spread around the room where the recon boys were waiting to be called on for their next assignments.  
  
Root sat in his office, massaging his temples. Holly had been unusually whiny today. Not at all like herself. She'd come in his office complaining about minor things that she knew how to take care of, or that she should know how to take care of. And from what he'd been told she'd messed up with beginner's mistakes out in the field today. She certainly hadn't seemed herself at all.  
  
Maybe he should call Trouble Kelp in and see what he thought. Kelp and Short were good friends and he'd probably know if there was something strange going on. If there was something strange going on and Root was going to get to the bottom of it.  
  
Come to think of it Corporal Kelp had been surprised to see his older brother in the Police Plaza. Said that Trouble hadn't felt well the night before, but when Root saw Trouble this morning he looked fine. Then again, Trouble was known to act like a macho tough guy; even if he weren't well he'd probably act like nothing was bothering him.  
  
It was just Root's luck that Trouble past by his office. "KELP! GET IN HERE!"  
  
"Yessir?" Holly (disguised as Trouble) entered.  
  
Root knew there was something different about Trouble today. He looked a little shorter than normal. That wasn't Trouble's walk. That was feminine, somewhat feminine anyway. That was Holly's walk. He'd get to the bottom of this. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull?"  
  
"No stunt, Commander."  
  
"Sit down."  
  
"Yessir."  
  
Those were Holly's words, even if they weren't Holly's voice. "I'm going to ask you one more time." His voice was dangerous. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull, Short?"  
  
"Noth-" She stopped mid-word, realizing that he'd used her correct name. "Sorry, sir. How'd you know it was me?"  
  
"Holly, I've known you since you were a child. How could I not recognize you? Take off that ridiculous mask and start talking like yourself. Why are you dressed like that?"  
  
She removed the voice modifier but left the mask on. "Sorry, sir, but if I take the mask off it won't go back on."  
  
"That still doesn't explain why you're dressed like Lieutenant Kelp."  
  
"Sir, you're aware the Council tried to fire me without your consent. I'm also aware that they attempted to force you to retire. Foaly and I thought that-"  
  
"Foaly! I should have known that pony had something to do with this!"  
  
"Permission to continue, sir?" She'd be in enough trouble as it was, best to keep up the good manners to avoid making it worse.  
  
"Proceed," he grumbled.  
  
"We thought, if we could get someone on the Council to see things from the inside it might help them understand."  
  
"So who else is parading around in disguise?  
  
"Councilwoman Vinyaya is, to all appearances, Captain Holly Short today."  
  
"I thought something was weird about Holly today, I mean the person I thought was Holly. Then where's the real Kelp?"  
  
"At home. He's ill. He was going to pretend to be Councilwoman Vinyaya."  
  
"You're lucky he's ill then! Do you realize the trouble there'd be if you'd been caught?"  
  
A new person entered and stood in the doorway. "Jul-I mean, Commander Root-you must punish Private Verbil immediately." The elf looked like Captain Holly Short, she even had her nametag.  
  
"Nice of you to join us, Councilwoman. Take a seat!" barked Root.  
  
She sat rather huffily in the chair next to the real Holly's chair. "You told him?"  
  
"I'm a smart boy," he said sarcastically. "I figured it out on my own. What's your complaint against Verbil?"  
  
"He wouldn't leave me alone!" she pouted.  
  
"Let me guess, hitting on you even when you tell him you aren't interested?" asked Holly.  
  
"Yes!" she whined. "I was polite at first but he wouldn't stay away so I got angry. He still kept bugging me and no one did anything about it. No one helped me."  
  
It was funny, Holly thought, she had decided she wouldn't report Chix, but here she saw someone who looked and sounded just like her doing just that.  
  
Root turned back to the girl who looked like Trouble. "Holly, has this been an on-going problem?"  
  
"Yes, sir. It's why he got shot by those goblins and lost use of his wings. I couldn't stand staying in the cham pod with him anymore."  
  
"So you shot him?" asked Vinyaya, clearly horrified.  
  
"Don't be stupid," Holly snapped. "Of course I didn't shoot him. I sent him out on a routine fly-by. The stuff he says to my face isn't so bad as what I've just found out some of them say behind my back."  
  
"Holly, why didn't you speak about this sooner?"  
  
She shrugged. She'd just assumed it'd be best to try and settle the problem herself, she couldn't settle it so she ignored it as best she could.  
  
"We'll do something about it," said Vinyaya determinedly.  
  
Fortunately, by now, Holly and Trouble's shifts had ended. The switch was successful.  
  
* * * *  
  
Several days later, Foaly asked Holly to go check on a phone call they'd tapped. Phone calls that contained many terms specific to the People were traced and checked out. This call had consisted of, "I need to see Holly Short. LEP. Lower Elements Police. LEPrecon. Elf. Fairy. Haven. Shuttle pilot. Time-stop. Sprite. Centaur. Foaly. Commander Root. Goblin. If you get this call, meet me at E1 at nine p.m. 2 nights from now." This call sent up red flags. It was from Fowl's private line and it went to MovieFone. (A/N: I got the idea about this from Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code) Even though it was just Fowl, Foaly thought Holly better go to the surface and check it out.  
  
She found Fowl waiting. "What is it this time? The LEP has better things to do than be at your beck and call."  
  
"Just settling a score. I am indebted to you," said Artemis. "From what Butler told me, I owe you my life."  
  
"It's a small thing," she said.  
  
"That may be so but I prize it highly. As I said before I am in your debt."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I am a businessman, Captain," he said testily. "I don't like being in debt to anyone. I'd like to make it up to you."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Butler," Artemis called to him and Butler came, bearing a large sack. He dropped it in front of Holly.  
  
"What's all this?" she asked.  
  
"A return. This is about half of the LEP Retrieval One squad's weapons that Butler and I took when you put the time-stop over Fowl Manor. Half of what I have not yet dissected of course. Good evening to you, Holly." He and Butler walked back to the Bentley.  
  
"G'night, Mud Boy." She clipped the sack of weapons to her moonbelt.  
  
* * *  
  
Holly got back to the Police Plaza to return the weapons and noticed an unusual amount of activity. She caught Foaly by the arm and asked, "What's all this?"  
  
"While you were on the surface checking that phone call, Root had a little assembly for all the boys," Foaly said.  
  
"What sort of assembly?"  
  
"About harassment. And the consequences for anyone who does harass the female employees," said Vinyaya. "I'll be checking up to see that the rules are enforced. Nobody should have to work going through what you did."  
  
Trouble approached them. "Hello, Captain Short," he said stiffly.  
  
Holly burst out laughing.  
  
"It's not that funny," said Trouble. "What's in that bag?"  
  
Holly opened the sack. "These look familiar? The weapons Butler took from Retrieval during the siege of Fowl Manor."  
  
"It's only half. Less than that even. He took out everybody but Grub."  
  
"You can't know that Mud Boy and honestly expeted him to return everything. This is half of what he didn't damage."  
  
"Why'd he give it back?"  
  
"Last week I saved his life. Again."  
  
"What'd you bother doing that for?" asked Trouble.  
  
She punched him. 


	14. Checking Up On Mulch

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I thought I made Vinyaya a little too whiny too. But whoever was going to be taking Holly's place had to be somewhat off- character from the normal Holly. I know Vinyaya isn't really a whiner but I can only attribute her whining this book to . . . because she hadn't been out in the field in years.  
  
6 MONTHS LATER  
  
Mulch was in his cell, pacing. His home for the next twenty years. For a fairy it wasn't that great a deal of time of course. Fairies lived for hundreds of years after all. But still, prison was not fun. Currently he had no roommate but sooner or later they'd book a few goblins for company for him. Goblins and dwarves: sworn enemies. And besides that, the cell walls weren't really very entertaining to look at. 6 months and it was already long memorized. He could see it with his eyes shut.  
He reached into a pocket. He was thankful the LEP handed found this when they booked him. It was Fowl's watch. He didn't know why, but he wanted to keep it. Someday, he'd trade it back to Fowl at a high price.  
Then again, in twenty years, would Fowl even remember it?  
Would Fowl even remember him in twenty years?  
No matter. If the mud boy did remember, Mulch would always have a friend and business partner among the mud men.  
He stopped pacing and lay down on a small cot in the corner of the room. Nearly 300 years combined in and out of prison cells had taught him how to make time pass quickly. He began to count bricks in the ceiling. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.  
He glanced up as he heard footsteps and someone stopped outside his cell. "Hello, Julius, Holly." This was odd. Holly had visited he a couple of times over the past six months but this was the first he'd seen of Root.  
"Watch your mouth convict!" growled Root.  
Mulch rolled over on his stomach. "Why should I? You and I are good friends right, Julius?" Root had arrested him more than a dozen times.  
"Say it again and I'll add another 5 years to your sentence."  
"Okay, Commander. To what do I owe the honor of this visit?"  
"We need your help."  
"Again?"  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
"Because you're the only one who's already forfeited magic."  
"What's in it for me?"  
"10 years off your sentence."  
"15."  
"5."  
"15 or I don't budge. You can't force me to work for you."  
Root's face turned slightly purple.  
"So what's the job?"  
It was Holly that answered. "We've got reason to suspect that Fowl's been monitoring us somehow. Your job is to go in and find out how. He's just about home for Christmas vacation."  
"Is it a yes or no, convict?"  
"12 years off. Take it or leave it." He was planning his escape anyway.  
"Deal. We'll be back to get you a week from tomorrow morning." Root and Holly retreated.  
Mulch when back to counting the bricks while he planned his escape. Fowl would help him. Unless of course Fowl betrayed him. 


	15. THE END

THE END  
  
Okay, so what'd you think? I know I'm mean. Cliffhanger. Sorry about that. There will be another book. Artemis Fowl: This Girl Can't Come Up with A Title. It might not be up for a few days 'cause I think I kind of backed myself into a corner with the ending of this story. *hits self in the head with keyboard* Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Okay, anyway, read and review and I'll try and put up the next story ASAP. 


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